New mentor & connexions

Recently, I got referred by CAMHS to see a mentor who can help me with practical things such as college applications. I met with my new mentor and I have to say i'm pleased about the fact that she's working with me. I felt as though she was really approachable and easy to talk to - qualities I would look for in a mentor. We got on so well that the session went on for two hours rather than 45 minutes because we're both very talkative!

I spoke to her a little bit about my history with mental health problems, and hearing her comments about me were very interesting. She told me that i'm very extrovert, kind, friendly and someone with great people skills. It was very interesting to hear that because I perceive myself as someone who's very unpleasant, boring, rude and pessimistic but i guess not everyone perceives me the way I perceive myself. Her comments gave me a warm, fuzzy feeling inside and for the first time I actually accepted them as compliments. I'm glad I come across as all those things she mentioned and maybe it's timeIi start believing all the compliments people give me, rather than thinking negatively about myself. It's going to be a challenge thinking positively about myself - but a necessary change.

Not only am I meeting with the mentor, but i'm also getting support from a lovely lady from connexions and a sexual health worker - which is great because now i'm getting support from a team of people. I haven't met with the sexual health worker but I have met with the lady from connexions and she's been helping me by calling up sixth forms and colleges to see if they're willing to accept me onto doing the chosen courses I wish to do. She also emailed my previous head of year because the sixth form team haven't been entirely supportive. Despite the fact that they knew I was struggling, they didn't provide me any intensive support, instead they withdrew me from my exams near the end of the academic year. As a result, this has left me at a disadvantage because now it's harder for me to get into sixth forms/colleges and do the courses I want to do. In all fairness, they should have withdrawn me from my exams a lot sooner rather than later. 

After having my connexions meeting, i've been kicking myself a lot about the fact that the school could have made me sit the exams another time. Due to  mitigating circumstances, exam boards do allow students to sit their exams another time. This is something I didn't know. Or they could have had someone sit with me in lessons and help me cope. Again this is something I  didn't know. Makes sense though - if a student had a broken hand they would be given a scriber. If a student had learning difficulties they would have additional support in place for them. So why is it that a student with mental health problems can't be provided additional support? I am an academically able student but unfortunately I did struggle and now I feel really let down. I might not get to do the courses I want to do. I might not get into sixth form or college. I might have to start looking for employment and i'm just not ready for that. It's really disheartening. I was vulnerable and going through a numerous amounts of mental health crisis. The school were aware of the fact that they could provide me additional support, but they didn't. And how was I suppose to know that I was entitled to get additional support? 

I am really happy about the fact that the issues are being addressed and it's great that i've got an advocate. But like anyone else would be, i do feel really upset.